Family life inspired by the Rule of St Benedict

Your best human and Christian intentions often remain ineffective if they are not shared and supported by the people you live with. Is the ordinary way of life of a modern human family a help or rather an obstacle to your deepest aspirations?

Without an environment and social custom which sustains it in daily life, the life of the individual cannot come to fruition according to an ideal of human and Christian integrity. That means that it is not sufficient to evangelise the intelligence of an individual with beautiful catechesis and it is not even sufficient to evangelise the individual's heart, will and good works with the practice of the evangelical virtues: it is necessary to create social environments regulated in everyday life by customs correctly inspired by human and Christian wisdom and shared by all. Now, what is human life's fundamental social environment, the easiest to reach, the one most open to listening and which is very close to the heart of the Church? The family, naturally. But unfortunately it, too, is exposed to the greatest degradation, so that the life that is lived at home almost universally suffers conditioning by common trends passively accepted as inevitable destiny. Faced with such a widespread habit which, without asking permission, even before co-existence can begin, installs itself as boss of the house, individuals – be they husband, wife, children – feel and are impotent. Television always on and available for every kind of message, uncontrolled and often very precocious and irresponsible use of modern electronic means of communication and gadgets (internet, playstation, games and electronic gadgets, mobile phones, etc.), schedules disregarded, not turning up at meals, young people coming back at night when they want, books, magazines, newspapers and comics of a shoddy type which are found all round the house without a care, young people's dress sense ready to follow any fashion without any restraint, pseudo-music which wafts around the house or sneaks into the brain through headphones, ornaments and pictures of every type and taste – rarely of beautiful, classical art or religion -, parents and children always absent, with the focus of their interests always outside the home. What else? Is it possible in this context not to remain a victim of the prevailing social custom, of the most cynical commercial propaganda, of rampant immorality through the most powerful modern means of mass communication? What is the point of wonderful sermons and beautiful catechesis? Returning home, even the most well-disposed individual will find him/herself defenceless in the face of his/her family environment.

If you do not want your family to be an obstacle to the good which is in you, won't it be necessary to buck the trend and reform the common fashion, rather than accept it passively as an inevitable occurrence? But how? Perhaps Saint Benedict can give you some good suggestions

St Benedict and the monastic tradition wanted to order the daily life of a community in the light of human and Christian wisdom, so that the individual who wants to live in a Christian manner may not be thwarted, but on the contrary might be supported in his/her choice of life by the community of which he/she is a part. This ordering has two elements: the practical arrangement of actions and the inner disposition which must animate them. The first element comprises the ways and times to be followed in the various areas of work (that is, work, rest, meals, going out, dress, etc.). The second comprises the associated spiritual dispositions, that is humility, obedience, charity, prayer, listening to God, etc. and the concrete conditions which encourage them. From these two elements and from their interweaving comes a complete and detailed picture of community life, the fruit of reappraisal about the preceding monastic tradition put into practice by St Benedict after years of experience and then subsequently developed by his followers down the centuries.

We will now try to gather from this tradition the various aspects, external and internal, which should order the life proper to a family which, with Benedictine human and Christian wisdom, wants to escape today's prevailing disorder. First of all we will try to list two types of dispositions – external and internal – inspired by the Rule of St Benedict and its developments and adapted to the spirit of a family.

1. External dispositions concern work (domestic, professional, creative), rest, meals, dress, going out, surroundings, furnishings, tools.

2. Internal dispositions will depend in large part on those aspects of family life ordered more directly to nourishing the heart and mind: prayer, common and in private, charity within and beyond the family, mutual service, fraternal dialogue, the times and manners of conversation and silence, reading, study, music, sacred and secular song, relaxation and the more traditional arts, the modern means of entertainment, artistic expression and communication, the organisation of the house (a place of worship, the library, the setting for work together, the artistic decoration, devotional objects and images).